I had not said his name on the blog before but lately I have been more public on the entire story and therefore I feel it is time to name him here. Matthew is my late husbands name. 11-6-2017, would have been his 40th birthday. Always the jokester, he used to say his birthday was the 7th! It took me forever to recall his actual birthday and not second guess myself.
I had an energy/medium session the day before his 40th. Matt came through and wanted to be sure I started to use the smoker and that I had people over for his milestone birthday. I went to the grocery store for tenderloin, wings, and beer. Our old neighbors, buddies, and even some new friends came over to spend time with me to remember Matt. We told stories, checked out some pictures, ate, and drank. At the end of the evening we sent a lantern up to the sky to honor Matt. I know he saw it. I know he was watching over us.
Matt was surely happy to see all the people enjoying smoker food on his favorite gift ever, the Traeger. Drinking Crown, doing shots of fireball, and chugging beers together.
Matt, thank you for the many years we had together, the love we shared, the amount you cared for me. Thank you for sharing our home, my craziness, and enduring my persistence and passions. I know that you would have given anything to have enjoyed things more, gone more places, and be more present but the pain you were in was too deep. I know now that you wish things had ended differently. I know you are sorry that I am sad and hurting. Thank you for checking in on me, for the signs, for being okay with me moving forward. Thank you for the advice to be patient. I am grateful for you guidance and positivity about my strengths after your passing.
I enjoy your signs, and knowing you are around me. I know I look ok but many days I am not. I am trying to make you proud. I am doing Yoga just like you suggested for me.
Happy Birthday Matt and thank you. I miss you.