Are you Strong Enough to Be My Man?

Who am I? What does it mean to date a widow?

I am built on a foundation of strength that I learned from my family, guarded by a fortress of walls due to a lifetime of being taken for granted, and a difficult life, combined with some very bad luck. There is a moat around me that is deep and open and that hole was made by the loss of my late husband. It represent grief, loss, uncertainty, blame, and insecurity. If you are so fortunate to climb over the walls or penetrate through them you will see that deep inside there is something softer like the batting that goes inside your softest quilt.

If you like me stay around. Put in the effort ask me how I am. Be open, honest, considerate. Talk to me about my late husband. Ask me what I have been through. If you respect me, care for me, consider me your friend, stay.  If not please make room for someone who could. If you are only here to use me or suck my energy please just go.

I truly believe Widows need more consistency, security, honesty, and understanding. We have been through a lot. It is really hard to be thrust into the dating pool (many yrs later and a little unsure) unless you find someone extremely special. We may come off a bit broken, a bit unsure/lacking confidence, but we do not mean to show that side. We truly try to go with the flow and date correctly. We want the same things that everyone wants fun dates, getting to know you slowly, and a great friendship. We will make mistakes

Widows are also distrusting because we are targets and sometimes used (see previous postings about the narcissist) for what we are perceived to have, or for our vulnerabilities that can be exposed. 

Widows are forgetful. We repeat things. We cannot think of the words sometimes. Our minds are a little like a bunch of knots we are trying to unravel into a new storyline. Be patient with me.

Are you strong enough to be my man? If not I certainly know I am strong enough on my own.

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