I think we have discovered that Luck is not in the cards for me. But I am so blessed for those in my life. I think they still have luck on their side.
This week I shared in the joy of my friends. Being a part of their happiness makes me very grateful. I feel something. They want to tell me. They value what we have. (When I truly think hard and recall that my husband is dead a coldness and emptiness washes over me). I love the opportunity to feel otherwise.
One friend let me adopt their kids to trick or treat with this Halloween. Her daughter and I walked hand in hand and house to house along with the rest of her family and parents. I cannot recall ever getting a chance to go trick or treating in this manner. I had been laying in bed since 6PM but my friend was not having any of that and showed up with 4 kids in tow ready to rock. A was so excited to have a hand to hold and to run house to house with in her Batgirl costume. Watching her face was watching pure joy.
Another friend shared in their joy of purchasing a vacation home. I was able to know first, see the pictures, and write the congratulations email.
And my newest friend shared with me the news of his job opportunity. Finally someone valued the back and forth again on something I am great at, business. Now all we need is champagne.
After my husband passed away people were hesitant to share positive news with me. I am truly happy that is not the case with these people. I got to share in happiness and joy and celebrate for other people.
After loss I became more sensitive. I am more in tune to my intuitions. I am more caring, more quiet, more thoughtful, more soft. It’s good because this empathetic side balances out the strong, independent, resilient, tough side.
It is not that I share that soft side with everyone, just the few I trust and let into both parts of my world.